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' Over Her was my first vid of any kind. I was about a year into seriously falling in love with vids and vidding, but had no idea how to start. Vidding instruction pages made no sense -- I didn't even have the capability of understanding the vocabulary and I had no idea of how I could get my hands on the software required to vid. Then I got my laptop, which came with a simple linear vidding editing program called WinDVD Creator. I futzed around with it a little bit and realized that it could be used to make vids. I was delighted and terrified. I still wasn't quite sure where to start. Dawson's Creek had ended recently, with the only sane ending possible and I was thrilled about it. And then I was listening to some songs that friends had made available and as I was listening, I realized what it was that I wanted to make my first vid about -- a show that I did care about, but one where I wouldn't be devastated if it turned out that I was all thumbs at this vidding thing. I watched Dawson's Creek for three reasons -- Joey Potter, Pacey Witter, and the Joey/Pacey relationship. It was, therefore, the perfect subject for my first vid. But it was still my first vid and I really had no idea about any of the mechanics of vidding. I found some source online and you can tell that in the vid -- the quality is variable and there are even two places where the vid is randomly in wide-screen. WinDVD Creator was imprecise and distressingly linear, which meant that I could only place clips in order on the timeline and couldn't ever get the cuts and fades to exactly where I'd have wanted them to be. All of the source that I wanted to use simply wasn't available to me -- the second verse could be much more meaningful if I'd been able to get all the clips that I wanted. Despite all this, the vid still manages to hit the emotional notes that I wanted. It worked, at least well enough that I wasn't discouraged and never thought about quitting. I do want to remake it one of these days, when I do have all the source that I need, but for now, it stands as a good example of where I started. Many of the themes that are present in this vid -- the beauty and strength of love, the circular nature of the vid, the focus on a particular relationship and time -- are themes that I return to again and again in my work. And not just in vidding! These are all themes that I've found myself drawn to when writing fanfiction as well, and the themes that tend to attact me to fannish sources. The Joey/Pacey archetype -- playing, passionate friends who become lifemates -- is one of my favorites, as well. I see echoes of them in most of the relationships that I actively 'ship, both het and slash. It is my ideal vision of a relationship, with laughter and teasing and affection. In the end, I see all stories as love stories of one kind or another. They aren't all about romantic or erotic love, but if there is no love, then there's no there there, at least not for me. This vid is a celebration of not getting over love, of letting love stay. By the end of the series, Pacey doesn't have insecurities tangled up in his relationship with Joey anymore. He just wants her to be happy, whatever that means. Whether or not that means 'with him'. This vid is a celebration of that kind of selfless love, the kind that you never need to get over.
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